Please disregard previous blog entry. I am bored no more. In fact, I practically dont have time for myself. LOL. I know, me and my freakin tempremental mood swings.

I hate being bored...No, I think being bored is the best thing in the world. I wish I was bored. Why didn't i appriciate being free?~ FUCK! make up your damn mind woman!


I've got more to say, but apparently my blogs has been dry of visits. So not much good it would be for me to write an essay of what happens in my life and not have anyone read it or say anything.

There is so many things I wish to say, but I feel its better if I kept it to myself for the many reason that only I would know and be paranoid about. Not that it matters much.

I do realise i sound depressed. But I'm not. Really. Just stating the facts.

Im boored, dear God...please help.

Someone, please come to malacca to entertain me...please...please...PLEASE!

Shoeeeess!

Been checking this online botique. www.modcloth.com

Damn nice stuff. All retro and it looks damn quirky. I like.




















AAAARRRGGGHHH!!!!!!!

Sometimes I wish I had enough money to afford them shoes! I think I'd be even more stylish that those rich *insert whatever you wish* girls.

Why? I've been looking at these shoes and I wish I had them..... Check them out.

hello people.

just dropping by my half dead blog to say "HI, I'm alive!"

Too many things happening in my life right now, i'd say it feels like a rollercoaster but it sounds too cliche. And I am not exactly a fan of baring my soul for the world to see.... Except for those really embarassing moments when someone actually manages to get something out of me. damn you!

So anyway, I'm heading off to Pangkor for a LONG needed holiday on the 11th. Don't miss me..... On second thoughts, its not like yall did anyway...:( dun fwen u all.

Oh, im back to job hunting again. Do pray for me. thanks.

Like them Migrating Birds

I have this sudden need to get out of this place. Away from Malaysia. The feelings pretty bad, so bad that I feel like I'm hyperventilating. No, I'm like over dramatizing what I'm feeling. Hearts beating pretty hard, palms-a-sweating and I'm feeling its kinda hard to breathe. Thats what hyperventilating is, right?

I have no idea why, though.

Can anyone help me... please.

-------------------------------------------------
You know...I love all of gods creation and the metaphors it inspires,
but those butterflies has got to be murdered!
Blair Waldorf

----------------------------------------

I know... I know, it took me long enough to update this blog aand to watch Gossip Girl. (Yes, that quote is from GG) Owh come on, like you don't know how much procrastinating defines me. Heh!



I'm only a few episodes shy from the end of the season and I have a few thoughts on the TV series itself. Like hello, damn shallow OK.

Well first things first, it mostly involves the social elite living their life. Parties, sex and money. I mean, how original can it get? Altough they do have this not so rich boy who dispises the saperation of class and the benefits of living as a social elite....Then he dates a girl from this so called class who seems to be a reformed bitch. wow. sense my sarcasm.

But you know how watching all this elites crash and burn is MY guilty pleasure. Altough its only a series.

But then again, talking about guilty pleasures. Hmm.... eye candies these actors are (I dont care for the actresses).I know in one of my earlier post on MY TOP 10 HOTTEST MEN that Chance Crawford is one of them. After watching GG and getting to know Nathaniel Archibald better I totally changed my mind. Nate seems to be like, someone with no balls. To be nice. I mean, he totally lets his parents control his life, even if HE wanted to do what thought was best for him. Even his best friend played him out. And he seems a little whiney. Yes thats it. Whiney. Even with that name they gave him. Nathaniel i can live with. Ar-chi-BALD. No. I mean who goes around throwing money while plastering THAT names on libraries or anything else for that matter. But actually he is very very handsome.

(Oh wait, Teluk Intan's old name was Teluk Anson. Named after Archibald Anson. Har Har)

Then my sights shifted to the pervy best friend, Chuck Bass. The guy who bangs anything with two legs and boobs. He's nasty, snarky, cunning and self absorbed. Whats not to like? Plus he is damn sexy altough not so hansome. Yes i totally adore Chuck Bass. Though he hunches. Maybe its a Ed Westwick thing? I dunno, but what I do know I have a number 11 on my TOP 10 Hottest Men.

Yes. No. 10 still holds his place because in ep. 11, ( i think) when he took of his shirt my mouth hung open for quite some time and all i thought was "Oh la la". And THAT makes him deserve a place in number ten. Or maybe number 5.

You know you love me.

xoxo,
Cynthia.

Me bored...again

I've been pretty depressed lately. No pin pointing where this comes from but i think it is mainly coming from me not being able to find a job and having too much time on my hand.

Btw, in my total boredom I've been colour-ing stuff on photoshop. I have many half done stuff, it is very usual for me cos i always dont finish what I start. Only a few are finished art...only a few.

Anyway, i is bored gila babi(as mentioned earlier) that i actually finished something i started 2 days ago. took me about 5 hours all together minus-ing the times i went to sleep, bathe, eat, watch tv(wow right.... so damned busywtf).

Anyway, not to confuse people again. The line-art, the one where it is 'DRAWN' by pen is done by nami86. You can see her work on her deviantart account. ---> nami86 .

She's got really good fan-art and her works make innocent couple's you see on tv look soooo 18sx. Really.

Anyway this is the line art she drew.



And this is the coloring (called digital painting but i prefer to call it colouring cos im childish like that) i did.


[thanks denise. i corrected it already]

The only thing I like about this colouring is the hair. Nice right....nice right.... Please tell me its nice or ill kill myself. (click to make it bigger, if not whats the point?)

no really.

I hate the skin. Apparently I can only make one texture of cloth. Cotton. Was hoping to make her baju look silky but apparently tak jadi. So, comment please. like, no like. whatever lar, dun worry i wont kill myself.

Oh, just to inform you guys that those two are Edward and Bella of Twilight.

Adam Lambert

Omg... he doesn't only look good in his dark eyeliner dash rocker appearance, but too look that good cleaned up and with a suit?

Last night, I had a dream that I had the ability to call rain. (Well, last night I was watching catch-up episodes of 'Heroes'. Figures.)

Funny,

how when I was younger, my whole family used to make fun of my singing. They use to say things like

"ei, don't sing....later I want to go play football"
"my clothes cannot dry-lah later??!"
"Cynthia, afterwards got thunderstom lar..dont!!"
-.-"

so, my brother decided to come up with something positive to so-called make me happy.

"If you sing in Africa, I'm sure you would be a millionaire!"

=.="

You know, sometimes i despise the lack of privacy that I have. It seems like everything I do is in need for more details. It get pretty annoying really, to the extend that I might just tell them off. You might think why not I tell them off straight forward. Here's the problem:

1) The people doing this to me are my family. Thus, need to control and not tell the whole world how plainly annoying they can be.

2) If I respond to whatever that they are trying to probe from me, they will take it the wrong way no matter what I tell them.

3) If i get angry, It's worse.

So, What the fuck am I to do????! Damn annoying I tell u. Ish.

The Bridesmaids Curse

For the second time in my life, I've been asked to be a bridesmaid. I accepted of course, being that she was one of my closest cousin growing up. But I have to warn everyone that this will be my last time accepting this honour because,

i don't want to be hit by the....

Bridesmaids Curse. Noktah.

Ever heard of the saying "Always the bridesmaid but NEVER the bride"? Not that I worry about growing old, alone and crabby, just that upping the chances of that is a turnoff. So no more bridesmaiding for anyone else. No hard feelings anyone, I know how much you all love me. :P

I super marah. Its a damn wonder I dont suffer from high blood pressure.

Im fucking 23 for goodness sake. TWENTY-THREE. GAAAAAh. DAMMIT.

Na Na Na!!

I wish that we could go back in time....

When life was so much simpler

My favourite picture of the lot.

Check out the one I highlighted. Damn. Personality Type Report for Cynthia

Your Personality Preferences

INTROVERT While you may not be anti-social, you do need (and deserve) your private time and space to retreat from the world. Unlike extroverts, you need to develop a concept of the world or some aspect of it before experiencing it. Too much socializing may sap your energies. Your energies are derived from exploring the inner world of ideas, impressions and pure thought.

INTUITIVE While you do process information through your senses you add a twist to your processing by relying on intuition and serendipity. You look for undercurrents of meaning and abstractions in what you experience physically. You do not just see things just as they are, but as what they could be. While you may rely on common sense at times, you trust inspiration far more.

PERCEIVING You like to have as much information as possible before making a decision. Putting off a final decision until the last moment does not make you uncomfortable. Indeed once a decision is made, a course plotted, you may feel a bit uneasy, because you feel bound to a certain course of action. You would much prefer to wait and see what happens. You enjoy the opportunity to improvise. Commitments are not etched in stone to you, and are changeable.

FEELING You make decisions subjectively based upon your values and what is important to you. How people will be affected by your decisions is important to you. You are likely to make decisions based upon what you feel is acceptable and agreeable rather than what is logical. Your truths are founded in your values and those of the society you live in. It is important to remember that we are discussing how you evaluate data and make decisions, and that you rely on your feelings to do so in no way implies you are overly emotional.

Your Personality Type

Introvert/Intuitive/Feeling/Perceiving You are devoted and compassionate. You have a well-developed distaste for rules, orders and schedules. You are a natural born learner and can get so absorbed in your projects that you forget those around you. You are passionate about your beliefs and love ideals. You have very high standards for yourself. You are very creative, sensitive, reserved, and introspective. You respect the values of others and expect them to respect yours. In relationships you are loyal and totally committed. You prefer a few deep relationships over a horde of acquaintances. Because you are somewhat reserved, you do best in one on one and small group situations. When you feel comfortable, you can be very entertaining and capricious. You are nurturing and supportive by nature. You greatest social challenge is to balance your need to withdraw into your inner-world with your need to keep a strong connection with those you care for. . Famous People of Your Type: Homer, Virgil, Mary, mother of Jesus, St. John, St. Luke, William Shakespeare, Henry Wadsworth Longfellow, A. A. Milne, Laura Ingalls Wilder, Helen Keller, Carl Rogers, Fred Rogers, Dick Clark, Donna Reed, Jacqueline Kennedy Onasis, Neil Diamond, Tom Brokaw, James Herriot, Annie Dillard, James Taylor, Julia Roberts, Scott Bakula, John F. Kennedy, Jr. Occupations Suited to Your Type Include: Actor, architect, artist, composer, editor, translator, journalist, librarian, musician, occupational therapist, psychotherapist, educator, researcher, scientist, and writer. http://www.bored.com/typequiz/passess.htm

I don't think I am able to cope with this news. I don't think that I am able to recover from the shock of it.

I hate how some people are bent on ruining other peoples lives for some sadistic gratification of theirs.

DAMMIT. I hate being helpless.

Christmas Eve Dinner...Check
Christmas....Check
Wedding...Check
Family Football...Check
Family Potluck...Check
New Years Eve Dinner...Check

I am still shocked that the "Carvalho Clan" is still standing. But now we areball back in our homes. One would still wonder how that we are all not sprawled half dead amongst each other either in exhaustion or in their drunken stupor....Curious.

This Christmas/New Year celebration felt...different. Different in sense that it did not feel like a mechanical celebration where it was tradition for all to celebrate together. Kinda forced, looking back a few year ago. In fact, it felt that we were waiting to greet each other in celebration of togetherness and famalial love. Corny I know. But still I loved it all the same.

This Christmas held a few significance for me. This Christmas is the last Christmas that I'd be on the receiving end of presents. In this tradition, the growth into adulthood is marked by the ability to earn for yourself. And therefore, for those who dont work will be able to get the presents . Pity me, for now my work is now to find a job. Which I hope will be easy to find. But then again.... hehe

Brothers both in thier own little island and a sis who works in kl makes it hard for my family to be together. So it would be something like twice a year to be together, even that if we are lucky. So, it was also a blessed Christmas for us. (At one stage it wasn't confirmed that my bro who is working at Tioman would come.) :)

This Christmas was significant because, we were communicating as families do. Unlike a few years ago when a little small misunderstanding shook the foundations of the family.

All in all, this Christmas will be remembered as i remember the time when i was only a girl, excited and wide-eyed waiting for the stroke of midnight on Christmas Eve. This time, I remember the time we spent together, and not the amount of presents that I received.

I know its late but "Merry Christmas & A Happy New Year!"