Ow...My Heart!!!

ookaay...This does not concern my love life.

But,

it does concern my best friend which became my ex-best friend in form two. Best friends Forever, we called ourself. Almost sisters. While we were growing up people mistook us for sisters, even twins. We've been friends since we were babies...i think.

Anyway, i was reading her friendster blog, she was talking about the time when we were not on talking terms. We still are, altough i think its our ego that keeps us from saying hi to each other. Well, 12 years of friendship down the drain.

ok, back to the topic.

I found out that i was NOT her closest friend, ever. Yea, i just realised that typing it down makes it sound so pathetically sad. But its true.

What happened to the time when we'd talk on the company phone for hours?

Or, the time when we'd use our masak-masak to smash bunga raya into pulp.
And laughing at my brother for tasting the thing to entertain us.

And the time when I had my whole head bandaged after my accident, she was the one to visit me and entertain me. And no care about my super scarred forehead.

Or the time we played a two-person hide and seek.heh.

Or the 'tutup mata' game in the van that had us all jumping in the van like baboons.

Ok i guess you get the picture. There are more things we have shared other than memories. Pain and happiness, laughter and tears. Even our dreams about our future. and gossips. Even at a very young age. Even the most personal stuff you dont normally talk to your close friends. Only BFF.


I mean doesnt it leave an imprint in her heart and soul. There is one in mine. And also a HUMONGOUS chunk taken out from my heart. Well it did feel that way, that fateful day.

Such a pity we fought over something stupider than quarreling over a jacket. Maybe i was immature. i was wasn't I. Only fourteen. Maybe if we did have a fighting/quarelling match everything would be fine. Let our feelings be heard. But i was a coward to say 'I'd never talk to you again'.

Just to think that more than 12 years of friendship and more are meant nothing more than memories. She might not even remember them.

Oh well. I guess we were both meant to go our saperate ways anyway. You and I are of different personalities.

Oh ya....she is still the bestest friend I ever had. Childish as it sound.


Ok...reading it back just makes me feel so insecure and unsure of myself.
Damn Fucking emo i guess.
Hurt most probably.

*just some random thoughts.*
miss my friend....
miss HOME!!!!
WANNA EAT MOMMY'S FOOD.
AIDAN.....MISS GODMA NOT???!!!
WHERE IS MY SMELLY PILLOW!


ok fine....i'll go.


BuDDerFly OuT~~~